Saturday, March 03, 2007

Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job?

Even though it happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the Star Wars saga gives us insight into the events of today:

We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

Like many Americans, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

Questions are asked. Inconvenient facts identified.

The evidence is too overwhelming to ignore.

As satire goes, this is on par with Swift's A Modest Proposal and Orwell's Animal Farm.


Anonymous said...

I want my 5 minutes of my life back.

Darren said...

If you didn't find that at all entertaining, I'd say it's because you don't like the political slant that it implies.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for brightening my day.

The fact that there are numerous people in this country that actually believe that 9-11 was orchastrated by their own government fills me with an anger that no Sith Lord could ever match. Nearly 3000 people died that day, and it was NOT at the hands of the US government.

Anonymous said...

No, I'm a Republican... but that's just... dumb lol

Anonymous said...

Err... ya, it was.

gbradley said...

It is truly amazing how the Imperial forces were able to strategically place the explosives needed to destroy the death star without anybody noticing.