Monday, May 24, 2010

Don't Double Down

My aunt used to have a small plaque hanging on the wall in her house:

Grant that I may not criticize my neighbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasins.
--American Indian Prayer
Last night a friend and I walked well over a mile--to KFC. That wasn't our intended destination, but we had to divert when he pointed out the sign in the window:
I had to go in to try this chicken, cheese, and bacon delight. It looks perfect, doesn't it?

The first indication that it's somewhat less than perfect is the appearance of the actual sandwich. Compare the picture below to the savory delicacy above:

Still, one must not judge a book by its over, however ragged and saggy that cover may be. So let's start reading the story:

So how did it taste, you ask? See if you can tell from this picture:

To mix metaphors, my neighbor's moccasins didn't rip, but they weren't soft, either. To be blunt, I was a bit disappointed in the sandwich. It was a 6 out of 10.

For starters, the sauce overwhelmed all the other flavors. I don't mean overwhelmed just a little, I mean Governor Blanco during Hurricane Katrina overwhelmed. That sauce was so strong and spicy that the chicken itself seemed flavorless, and I couldn't even taste the bacon or the cheese. What's the point of having bacon and cheese if you can't taste them? All you can taste is the excessively strong sauce, and that sauce isn't Chez Matisse caliber.

They call the sandwich the Double Down. The problem is that if you're playing blackjack, this sandwich is a soft 17. If this is poker, you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run--and at best, with this hand you take your chances and hold 'em.

The Double Down has so much potential, but it's wasted. What a tragedy.

Are there any fast foods worth eating? What's your favorite?


W.R. Chandler said...

The Breakfast Bowl from Jack in the Box. Put some hash browns at the bottom of the bowl, next comes a layer of scrambled eggs and sausage, and then it is all topped off with gravy.

Excuse me, I need a moment...

gbradley said...

Nice review.
I'd say that "In N Out Burger" is the only fast food worth taking a trip to.
That is, unless you consider "Chipotle Grill" fast food.

MasonPiper said...

Ahhh but if you put it between two chicken fried steaks and deep fried the whole mess and had some gravy for dippin, That would might be worth it... okay a heart attack waiting to happen, but a few buddies and I are serving that at the end of August, a a big gathering just north of Gerlach. Hopefully right next to a vegan camp

Steve USMA '85 said...

Chick-fil-A spicy chicken sandwich, large waffle fry, and a peppermint milkshake.

socalmike said...

Rubio's Chicken Tacos. Fresh, tasty, low calorie. The best.

PeggyU said...

That moccasin quote ... I think I like the Jack Handy version better: Don't criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes.

(I paraphrased, but that was the gist of it.)

Alice Waters said...

To a Berkeleyphobe from a Berkeleyphile...

Chez Panisse

Darren said...

I wasn't aiming for any restaurant in particular, just one that sounded she-she. (Is that the right term? Did I spell it correctly?)

Ellen K said...

I like Mooya's burgers and turkey burgers. Plus their fries are GREAT.

A new one for our family is coming up. ChikFilA is coming out with a spicy chicken sandwich...we've had a preview.

It's yummy especially with one of their over the top milkshakes.

Mike Thiac said...


Nothing beats a muffuletta from Central Grocery in the New Orleans French Quarter...a quarter of one will stuff most humans!

A muffuletta consists of one muffuletta loaf, split horizontally covered with a marinated olive salad, layers of capicola, salami, mortadella, emmentaler, and provolone.

More details here, but if you every get to New Orleans go by Central Grocery....

Dan Edwards said...

BACK in my pre-Diabetes days, Del Taco's big combo burrito, In-N-Out's Double Double or Jack's Ultimate Cheeseburger! Or Costco Supreme Pizza, Carl's Jr. Breakfast Burger. Jack's regular 2 for $1.00 tacos. Now I am happy that there is stuff like Crystal Light Pink Limonade, Mrs Field's SF Choc. Chip cookies (limited availability), and chopped apples with cinnamon and raisins, heated....tastes like memories of apple pie !

BTW, I think I might have returned that mess you were given at KFC; looks like false advertising to me.