As a teenager I learned that the phrase "lie back and think of England" was advice given by an (English immigrant) mother to her daughter regarding sex on her wedding night. That's what immediately came to mind as the nurse this morning at the drive-thru coronavirus testing facility told me to put my head against the headrest, look up at the ceiling, and "think about anyplace else you'd rather be."
That's almost the end of the story, let's go back to the beginning.
I needed to go to school to pick up a book, and I thought it would be fun to get a coronavirus test just to do it (I actually meet the requirements), so I did both today. My appointment was at 11 am, so I went to school first--it's kinda on the way--and did what I needed to there, and then headed to the State Fairgrounds, where the testing was being conducted.
It took me days to get an appointment, but I finally did. My email confirmation told me to arrive 15 minutes early, and I actually got there at 20 till. I snaked through the long line, going through two different ID/confirmation checking stations, before I pulled into a large exposition building and up to my testing spot.
Within a minute, the nurse had a very long, thin, flexible swab up my nose and well into my sinus cavity. It didn't hurt, it didn't itch, but alarm bells were going off in my head: SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT, THINGS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE! It was exceedingly uncomfortable. Tears were streaming from my eyes, not out of pain but out of irritation, like allergies.
Then it was done. The test itself took less than a minute, and I rolled out at 11:29. Remember that I arrived at 10:40 and my appointment was at 11:00.
I hope the sex was more enjoyable.
4 comments:
Now.... what if you've had exposure to/developed the antibodies against the virus ... with absolutely *NO* complications or even knowing you've ever had it ?
as will be the case with almost everyone eventually,
meh`68
I was sick back in February--was that a cold, the flu, or coronavirus? No way of knowing.
The test I took today was the free "do you have it now" test, not the "have you already had it" test. That one runs about $125.
In and out of a medical appointment in under an hour. Pretty good in my opinion.
Several years ago, early in flu season, I came down with a 102 degree fever and went to the doctor. She said, “you either have the flu or pneumonia; let’s do the quick flu test before sending you to the lab for a chest X-ray.” She pulled out what looked like an eight-inch piece of piano wire, told me to lean my head back, and proceeded to put that swab further and further and further into my nose...I had pneumonia.
Post a Comment