I don't have a single student this semester that I actively dislike. I don't have a single class that causes me anxiety in the minutes leading up to the time they come through the door. I have smaller classes now than I've ever had teaching. The bottom line is that I pretty much am living every teacher's dream right now.
So why, when I parked this morning, did I just sit in my truck and not want to go to my classroom?
I'm pretty sure it all goes back to what I wrote in this post. And we have so many teachers who have tested positive for the 'rona and thus are out for a week or two--even though most show no symptoms--that district staff are showing up as substitutes. Heck, our former principal has been a science teacher a couple times this week! There aren't enough substitute teachers, even though in the last year or two our district has raised substitute pay from $100/day to $250/day. And still, we don't have enough subs. California has lowered requirements for emergency substitutes--and still, we don't have enough subs.
I heard my principal ask his secretary this afternoon what the trigger was regarding the number of classes without substitute teachers--I was down the hall, but I got the impression he was asking if she had heard the point at which we just can't keep the school open. We're told there's a plan, but no one seems to know what it is (or they have been told not to share as much as its existence).
In order to do my best as a teacher, I need to ignore those outside issues as much as I can, as I have no control over them at all. I need to focus my energy as well as my thoughts on my great classes and awesome individual students, whom I genuinely enjoy teaching. I'm an good teacher, even more so in person than via distance teaching--I need to focus on continuing to be effective as long as I have students in class. I need to get back to the philosophy I adopted a couple years ago: The problem isn't usually the problem; the problem is how you react to the problem. I don't need to worry about those other classes, I need to be the best teacher I can be for the students I have.
Doing that should allow me to open the door as soon as I park the truck, and not just sit there stressing over externalities I can't affect.
Update, 1/13/22: This morning I parked, shut off the engine, and opened the door. :-)
2 comments:
I can appreciate some of what you are feeling. Mine are different, but similar. Like trying to get answers from the powers that be about whether an available and working substitute material is acceptable in a certain class of products.
I work closely with both the production manager and the purchasing manager with the problems, but it is challenging and frustrating.
Not to mention my boss is more of a "can't do" (and struggling with serious physical issues) and I'm more of "let me try"
"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!" :)
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