Thursday, January 27, 2011

Translation Services Desperately Needed!

I'm told that we have an education crisis in this country, that education is truly a national security issue. With that in mind I want to do my part to help out in whatever way I can.

The following pictures were smuggled out of a top secret facility. I can't say where. There's no telling the dangers involved, or how many lives--good lives--were lost in bringing these pictures, and the information they hold, to light.

My informant tells me that the information contained in these pictures is the secret to high-quality education. If we could just get this information and implement it, the future of our nation would be secured. The information is not complete--some was lost--but there is hope that we could, given enough time, piece together the missing information to make a coherent whole, and in the process, save the nation.

Sadly, though, the information is encoded. The cryptological and linguistic skills needed to decipher the content in these pictures is beyond my poor abilities. So I turn to you, my readers, to see if any of you is capable of tackling for your country one of the most vexatious tasks possible--translating the following into English, and explaining how to put it into use.

Remember, education is vital to our national security. Uncle Sam needs you. Now. Don't let him down.

click to enlarge


Mary Elliott said...

Special agent Penelope Decoder is on the job!!

It's obvious, due mainly to my utter brilliance, but also extensive experience in the mind numbing labyrinth we call the "educational system", that what you have here is the so-called.....teacher inservice. Not to be confused with "staff development", as these titles are often interchangeable, intertwined, joined at the hip, so close they've lost their individual identity....but I digress.

This so-called teacher inservice had something to do with helping students find "their voice."

Now, in my humble experience, I never had a problem with students ability to find "their voice". It was usually trying to get them to shut up that was difficult....geez, I've digressed again!

Non-the-less, what you have here is an attempt to teach teachers how to have students find their "academic voice". For example, when posing the question, "What was the main theme to President Obama's State of the Union address? You encourage, teach, bribe...whatever....them to answer in a thought provoking way, rather than, "That Dude is like on crack, man!!!"

So there you have it. Decoded, interpreted, explained, clarified, enunciated, and expounded upon!

Is there a prize in here somewhere??

allen (in Michigan) said...

Here ya go.!+Mail

Ellen K said...

Looks like somebody's adminstrators went to a seminar....

Anonymous said...

What bugs me is the dumbasses like Diane Ravitch who want to free these sorts of people from any meaningful oversight by the public. "Just give us more money and let us waste your kids' lives with idiotic tasks" -- that's Ravitch's and the unions' mantra now.

Eowyn said...

I clicked on the first picture and tried to decode a few post-its before giving up.

Is it totally unfair to notice how childlike and poorly formed the writing is? All the round curly is pretty, but not legible. Teachers should write legibly, dammit. There's a reason I don't use gothic calligraphy on the board, although the chisel tip dry erase markers make it so easy.

Darren said...

My informant tells me that none of this was written by a teacher. And I'm willing to forgive spelling/grammar issues on a Post-It Note, as they're not formal writing. Heck, I've been known to make a mistake or two in haste in typing posts on this blog :-)

Polski3 said... careful, very careful....the CTA policia or the FEB (Federal Education Bureau) might pay you a visit.....:-)