President Obama intends to close "persistent gaps" between whites and minorities in everything from credit scores and homeownership to test scores and graduation rates.As a guilty member of an oppressor group, I recognize the role I've played (merely by having white skin and being born American) in keeping approved groups down. I will immediately start scrutinizing the grades I assign to students, and if any group other than whites (yuck!) or Asians isn't getting enough A's, I will correct the bias caused by institutional racism and grant all students of that racial/ethnic group an A. I might even lower the grades of whites, and cast a suspicious eye upon Asians.
His remedy — short of new affirmative-action legislation — is to sue financial companies, schools and employers based on "disparate impact" complaints — a stealthy way to achieve racial preferences, opposed 2 to 1 by Americans.
Under this broad interpretation of civil-rights law, virtually any organization can be held liable for race bias if it maintains a policy that negatively impacts one racial group more than another — even if it has no racist motive and applies the policy evenly across all groups.
This is the only way to achieve social JUSTICE.
Update, 11/15/12: It was all a joke, I didn't really turn liberal :-)