Monday, January 12, 2009

Ice Cream and Bird Seed

If you want to read this post, you must first read this post. Go on, do it. If you don't, you don't get to learn about ice cream.

Now that you've read about ice cream, and understand a bit where I'm going, I'll share with you this email I received recently.

I bought a bird feeder. I hung
it on my back porch and filled
it with seed. What a beauty of
a bird feeder it is, as I filled it
lovingly with seed. Within a
week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and
easily accessible food.

But then the birds started
building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table,
and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was
everywhere: on the patio tile,
the chairs, the table .....

Then some of the birds
turned mean. They would
dive bomb me and try to
peck me even though I had
fed them out of my own

And others birds were
boisterous and loud. They
sat on the feeder and
squawked and screamed at
all hours of the day and night
and demanded that I fill it
when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even
sit on my own back porch
anymore. So I took down the
bird feeder and in three days
the birds were gone. I cleaned
up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built
all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like
it used to be... quiet, serene
and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.


Just my opinion, but maybe
it's time for the government
to take down the bird feeder.

If you agree, pass it on; if not,
continue cleaning up the poop!

Hope and change. Liberalism. Socialism. Call it what you will, it all leads to poop on the patio.

And you get it because someone promised ice cream.


KauaiMark said...

Consider it passed...

allen (in Michigan) said...

When the "birds" get to vote taking down the bird feeder isn't quite the unilateral decision it is when all they can do is squawk.

It's a novel, and entertaining, metaphor but too inaccurate to very useful.

rightwingprof said...

When cotton candy clouds do not appear, unicorns do not frolic in everyone's yards, and the whole world does not collapse into some hippy-dippy-do orgy of peace, love, flowers, and passing venereal diseases with the bong, reality will start to set in.