Probably Not My Best Decision

I probably shouldn't have done this right before going to bed since it's gotten me all amped up, but I didn't realize just how excited it would make me.

Shortly after midnight--13 weeks to the day, 3 months to the day--I got on my elliptical trainer. It took some effort, it wasn't easy--in fact, it hurt a little and was a bit scary--but I was finally able to get a full 360 degree rotation on it. And then another. And then another. I can exercise.

This week has been a bit distressing. My physical therapist tells me I'm progressing nicely. His philosophy is not to have to conquer the same ground twice--he believes that slow and steady wins the race, and he'd rather see constant improvement than push too hard and have setbacks due to pain or overexertion. But this week I also saw a doctor for the first time in a month, and she said that 3 months into this my leg should be significantly stronger than it is. She wants me to work harder, and in fact prescribed muscle relaxers for me to take before physical therapy so we can get my leg a little "bendier" there.

Two people whose opinions I trust are giving me conflicting information, and I'm not sure which to follow.

And my "walking" is not pretty--in part, I believe, because of the weakness in my leg. I walk like a complete and total gimp, which both tires and hurts.

So I've needed a victory. And a couple dozen minutes ago, I got it. Of course now I'm totally wired and probably won't be able to get to sleep, Ambien or no Ambien, but whatever--I got a small improvement. A victory.

Today on the radio I heard this quote, which I'll paraphrase: It's not a sin to get knocked down, it's a sin to stay down. "Sin" is probably too strong a word, but the sentiment is right. I was definitely knocked down, but I'm not staying down. I've got a lot of work to go--according to my surgeon, I'm now halfway to the best case scenario for recovery--but I am getting up.