Six-year-old Zachary Christie was so excited to become a Cub Scout that he brought his camping utensil to school. The tool serves as a spoon, a fork and a knife, and Zachary wanted to use it at lunch.
What Zachary didn't know was that the gizmo violated his school's zero-tolerance policy on weapons. And now the Christina School District in Newark, Del., has suspended the first grader and ordered him to attend the district's reform school for 45 days.
Security theater, emphasizing "theater" without the "security".
Update, 10/14/09: Today I read that the district had revisited its policy, and now kindergarteners and 1st graders will be suspended for only 3-5 days for such offenses, and no reform school. Ah, now they're magnanimous idiots.