Monday, March 27, 2006

Men Who Want To Be Fathers

On a few occasions I've blogged about the legal inequities that consign men to second-class citizens where their children are concerned. On a feminist blog I was even accused of being a mysoginist, among other things, for espousing my belief that men and women should have equal opportunities for "choice" when a child is conceived. You can read the post that sent me to that feminist blog here.

In today's Boston Globe is an article by a woman--and it makes some sense. It doesn't propose any solutions, but it does articulate how not level the playing field is. I especially liked these paragraphs:

You would think that, unlike men who seek to avoid their paternal responsibilities, fathers who want to be responsible for raising their own children would at least encounter societal sympathy and support. Sadly, that has not generally been the case. Unwed fathers who contest adoptions are often faulted for not taking affirmative steps to find out about the child's existence, and in some cases are blamed even if they were actively deceived by the mother. Often, they're suspected of being abusers whose real hidden motive is to control the mother.

The issues of men burdened with responsibility for unwanted pregnancies, and of men who are not allowed to be fathers to wanted children, are linked by a common thread. Biology has made men and women unequal with regard to reproduction. In recent decades, thanks to both technology and social change, we have made strides to alleviate the inequality for women, helping them avoid unwanted childbearing. But we have lagged far behind in equalizing the situation for men. We cannot ask men to be equal parents while giving virtually all the power in reproductive decisions to women.


I, too, was accused by one of the feminists of wanting to control women.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I concur. It is not that men want to control women. Rahter, it is the sophisticated man who would want to be apart of his child's life, and would seek to level the ground on which men and women are given priveleges to raise a child.

Anonymous said...

The bottom line is that it's a woman's body and a woman's choice.

The guy can have input and opinion, but shouldn't get a vote or veto.

If you really want equality, I suggest you find a way for a man to become pregnant.

Darren said...

No, anonymous, that is *not* the bottom line.

And I'm endeavoring to create legal equality, not biological equality.

Your argument is sophomoric.

Anonymous said...

Do believe that a man has the right to force a woman to have an abortion?

Darren said...

I've dealt with this topic in this post:
http://rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com/2005/12/mens-right-to-choose.html

And I completely agree with Anonymous Dan's solution--and no (you babykiller)it doesn't even require a woman to carry a child to term if she doesn't want to.

Anonymous said...

If a woman has a miscarriage, should she call a coroner and have a certificate of death issued?

Since the answer is “no,” it’s not really a baby, it’s a fetus.

Another means of equality might be to do the Michael Jackson route, and pay some woman to serve as a baby oven.

Darren said...

Scott Peterson was (rightly) tried for a double murder.

How's this for a compromise: I'll keep my wishes out of your womb if you keep yours out of my checkbook. Deal?

As long as women are the only ones with a "choice" the law is not just.

Anonymous said...

Under California Law, Peterson would not have been charged had the fetus been in the 1st trimester.

I have no wishes for your checkbook. It's the military's budget that has it's eyes fixed on it.

Darren said...

Anonymous, you don't seem to know much about the difference between federal expenditures and laws versus state expenditures and laws.

Anonymous said...

On the 15th of April, I write a much bigger check to the Fed than local.

Too many of those federal dollars are wasted by the military.

Getting back to Peterson, the autopsy showed that "Connor" had been born, negating your argument.

Darren said...

I'm sure you're one of those people who has no idea what percent of the federal budget goes to the Department of Defense but complains about it anyway. I'm preparing a post about such people.

As for Connor, his birth wasn't known when charges for both murders were filed. I noticed the NOW was suspiciously quiet on that topic.

rightwingprof said...

"Since the answer is “no,” it’s not really a baby, it’s a fetus."

See this.

Anonymous said...

Recently my now ex-girlfriend decided by deceptive means to have an abortion, she tried faking a miscarriage. I was more than willing to step up and raise this child. Now she is suing me for the cost of the entire abortion, where are my rights in this? just another example of how laws are tilted towards women.