In The Parking Lot

I don't have a single student this semester that I actively dislike.  I don't have a single class that causes me anxiety in the minutes leading up to the time they come through the door.  I have smaller classes now than I've ever had teaching.  The bottom line is that I pretty much am living every teacher's dream right now.

So why, when I parked this morning, did I just sit in my truck and not want to go to my classroom?

I'm pretty sure it all goes back to what I wrote in this post.  And we have so many teachers who have tested positive for the 'rona and thus are out for a week or two--even though most show no symptoms--that district staff are showing up as substitutes.  Heck, our former principal has been a science teacher a couple times this week!  There aren't enough substitute teachers, even though in the last year or two our district has raised substitute pay from $100/day to $250/day.  And still, we don't have enough subs.  California has lowered requirements for emergency substitutes--and still, we don't have enough subs.

I heard my principal ask his secretary this afternoon what the trigger was regarding the number of classes without substitute teachers--I was down the hall, but I got the impression he was asking if she had heard the point at which we just can't keep the school open.  We're told there's a plan, but no one seems to know what it is (or they have been told not to share as much as its existence).

In order to do my best as a teacher, I need to ignore those outside issues as much as I can, as I have no control over them at all.  I need to focus my energy as well as my thoughts on my great classes and awesome individual students, whom I genuinely enjoy teaching.  I'm an good teacher, even more so in person than via distance teaching--I need to focus on continuing to be effective as long as I have students in class.  I need to get back to the philosophy I adopted a couple years ago:  The problem isn't usually the problem; the problem is how you react to the problem.  I don't need to worry about those other classes, I need to be the best teacher I can be for the students I have.

Doing that should allow me to open the door as soon as I park the truck, and not just sit there stressing over externalities I can't affect.

Update, 1/13/22:  This morning I parked, shut off the engine, and opened the door.  :-)