Monday, August 19, 2019

Horny Bugs

We have these red and black flying bugs all over our campus.  I understand they're native to the area, but I grew up less than 10 miles from the school at which I now teach and don't recall ever seeing such bugs in my youth.  Maybe it has to do with the school's proximity to the river, I don't know.  They're not a plague of locusts, but they're pretty gross.  They're like skinny red and black flying beetles--and when they land on you, it takes more than a wave of the hand to get them off you.  Someone darn near has to flick them off.

If I haven't been clear, they're pretty gross.

And they're horny as heck.  When you see them on the ground, as often as not there are two of them end to end, fornicating like there's no tomorrow.

There were several wandering about my classroom today, all in one area, so I asked my custodian if he had something we could spray.  He informed me that we're legally not allowed to use any such sprays, as poisons and toxins and children don't mix.  He has a eucalyptus-smelling spray that is supposed to deter bugs, but that's the extent of what we can do.  He did offer, though, to sweep them out of the room for me.

He also told me he won't be around much longer.  He doesn't like doing what he's doing, so he's going to move on to greener pastures.  It's not the darkest of secrets, but he's not going around telling everyone he's leaving.  He also shared that he appreciated the work I do to keep my room clean--no eating in class, no drinks but water--because he's tired of cleaning up soft drink spills and food.  Actually, that's something every custodian who's ever cleaned my classrooms, going back to Miss Ginny in 1997, has told me--they all appreciated cleaning my room because I make it easy for them to do so.

So soon I'll have a new custodian.  And the only reason I know about it is because of those darned horny bugs.

1 comment:

  1. In college, we had little red bugs (probably boxelders) crawling all over the dorms. I was on the ground floor, with half my room below ground and the window coming down almost to the grass outside. One day I thought to go look outside my window. I realized the leaves on the side of the building were teeming with the critters. I kicked the leaves over to where the bathroom windows were and never noticed a bug in my room again.

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