"Or, he can wear charcoal-laced undies."
Whatever the solution is, this selfish idiot isn't so important that everyone else should have to smell his farts:
A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his Baltimore office.I'm sure this will end up on a judge's bench, and hope that the judge applies some common sense--which this individual clearly lacks. Of course his union is springing for the attorney. Why don't they care about all the other employees?
In a December 10 letter accusing him of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer,” the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his “uncontrollable flatulence” had created an “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors.
The worker, a 38-year-old Maryland resident, reportedly submitted evidence that he suffered from “some medical conditions” that, at times, caused him to be unable to work full days. But a SSA manager noted in the reprimand letter that, “nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.”
(My favorite line in the story: The man was also accused of launching a trio of attacks on September 11.)