Monday, February 12, 2007

Wal*Mart Wine

I received the following joke email today. A colleague said that Wal*Mart actually is going to be selling its own brand name wine, but the short internet search I did only came up with stories from the 2000-2001 time frame on that topic. Whether they do or not doesn't matter, the joke is still just as funny:

Wal-Mart announced that it will begin offering customers a new discount item

- WALMART's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-$5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of WalMart Wine into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, "But the right name is important." Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the WalMart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat
(possum) or red meat (squirrel).


MikeAT said...


Back in New Orleans, a local grocery chain used to sell a unique brand, "Cheap Red Wine". And yes, they also had Cheap White Wine and Cheap Rose.

It had a generic brown label and was quite a conversation piece. And best of all, it wasn't half bad wine.

rightwingprof said...

Wal-Mart doesn't produce its own goods. They contract with a company and package it under their name. Back where we moved from in Indiana, Sam's Club has by far the largest and best selection of not only cheeses and high-end items, but beer, wine, and liquor (alas, not here, where all alcohol sales are state controlled). By far the best heavy cream available here is the Wal-Mart house brand.

Darren said...

Having gone to several Army-Navy games in my time, I've never been able to understand how the state of Pennsylvania can justify having a monopoly on alcohol sales (except for the $$ involved). Why do the people tolerate it?

Dana said...

Sam's Choice isn't good enough?

Darren said...

That name doesn't have as much humor.

rightwingprof said...

Why tolerate it? I don't know. There are a lot of things we put up with here I don't get. I still can't figure out how people here tolerate being forced to get their vehicles inspected. Liquor sales in Indiana are not state controlled (although you can't buy alcohol on Sundays). But it's even more idiotic here than most state liquor states, because if you buy a six-pack or less you have to go to a beer store, but if you buy more than a six-pack, you have to go to a liquor distributor. Insane. Why not just get everything at the supermarket or Sam's?

Oh. And booze here is ridiculously expensive, due to the lack of competition (state-set pricing, like dairy here).

I went out into the snow storm. I survived. I am now back home, and I'm staying inside.

"Ms. Cornelius" said...

Ooooooohhhhhmy! "World Championship Riesling! Chef Boyardeaux! I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!"

I really needed that laugh! Genius! Thanks so much, Darren! I think I actually pulled a muscle. Ow.