Thursday, December 28, 2006

Joke About Iraq and the Press

This is obviously an old joke, as it includes the now-deceased Peter Jennings of ABC. If you think including it here speaks ill of the dead, substitute Wolf Blitzer for Peter. (warning: off-color language towards the end)

3 reporters and a Marine

Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S. Marine
sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq.

The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one
last request before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot
spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with
the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song O' Canada
one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the
Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag Musicians
and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape
recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe
someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts
dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final

"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the
Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from
inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion,
he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis
with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to
kick you in the ass first?"

"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor?"

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